Hank Steinbrenner, a chip off the same Idiot!

OK, here’s your quiz.  Which one of these Hank Steinbrenner comments is from The Onion and which one is from the New York Times?

ITEM A:

The Yankees’ loss of their ace, Chien-Ming Wang, for up to 10 weeks prompted the team co-chairman Hank Steinbrenner to chastise the National League for playing without a designated hitter.

“My only message is simple,” Steinbrenner said in Tampa, Fla. “The National League needs to join the 21st century. They need to grow up and join the 21st century.”

Steinbrenner said he was angry and added: “I’ve got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He’s going to be out. I don’t like that, and it’s about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s.”

ITEM B:

TAMPA, FL—While on his deathbed in his Tampa home, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner ordered his hospice nurse out of the room, motioned for his sons Hal and Hank to come closer, and began whispering the generations-old secret to making the Yankees a winning ballclub before abruptly dying mid-speech. “He just said, ‘All you have to do to ensure the continued success of the Yankee franchise is…is…yell… at…’ and then he was gone,” Hank Steinbrenner told reporters Monday morning. “I kept banging his chest and screaming ‘Yell at who?! Who are we supposed to yell at? Wake up, you old bastard!’ but it was too late. We did, however, find this mysterious golden amulet in his pocket…but that can’t be it, can it? Can it?” He then announced plans to fire every employee in the company one by one until the Yankees return to first place.

Sources:

NYT

TheOnion.com